Day 215, September 2

So today definitely sucked. I just disliked it. Forget a stupid dislike button, I want a huge dislike stamp! I just. DISLIKE. I want to ramble on here but I feel like I shouldn't, which defeats the purpose of this blog. (maybe I'll create a secret one, that's no longer secret because I just mentioned it.) Long story short, I just feel so out of place. Forgotten. Alone. I started reading one of my old blogs and I was just like where did that go? I remember one day either Freshman or Sophomore year or in between where I remember it clicking and thinking "This is the way life is supposed to be." and that I'd do whatever it takes to keep it that way. Look at me now. I feel like its 6th/7th grade all over again. I'm not being stupid, this is a new low. I'm not bleh or meh. Just sad. Just plain sad. Almost every night I feel like crying. I say these things I want to do but I don't. I want to change that. I want my focus to be me, right now, if nothing else. I want to try to make the best of what I have on my own. I want to fix the stupid flash on my camera. alksdfjsdlkj. I want to lay on the driveway and stare at the sky. I want to lose 20 pounds. (yes, I have 20 pounds worth losing.) I want someone to talk to, that understands and doesn't need me to go and complain to but cares enough to ask. [Joey tries, but it's still just not the same, no offense taken I hope] I don't know. I just want all of this shit to be over and go to college, where hopefully I can have my third chance to start over. I'm still slightly in disbelief right now that this is happening. asldfkjsdlkfjsad. Hmm...maybe that wasn't so short after all. Oh and my english quiz went up 14%! Still not exactly how well I thought I did but 14% is a big difference! And....I might be going to Sea World this weekend, so that's a plus right? Spend some time with some peaceful creatures. =]
10:24 - Updated all notes. Feeling a wee bit accomplished. Time to sleep. Oh and my mommy got me a screwdriver for my camera today! Only this time...it was too small! WTF! lmao. it was 1/32. So I need one just slightly bigger.

Picture for today: later.