9:32am - Just woke up. Didn't go to school because I'm still feeling really meh. Hopefully going to do a good amount of work today.1:56pm - Why is this happening to me now? Why? Help me please? I just wish this would all go away; I want a fresh clean start. I thought this was, but it turned out otherwise. It seems like things will only continue downwards. How do I fix this? Can I fix this? Will I fix this? Perhaps a nice hot shower shall help.
2:50pm - Oh, the irony. Do you see it? No? Are you sure? Do you need help to see it clearly? Oh well, I can't help you. I'm the only who has the answer, you say? Why, yes. That's true, but it isn't for me to say. But I want your help? Why, yes, yes I do. I do want your help. Then why won't I tell you? Well, that's easy. It's because I want you to figure it out for yourself. Well how then can you figure it out? Simply. Just simply. It's hard, you say? Then, it wasn't meant for you to know. I'm confusing? Why, yes, yes I am and so are you. Do you really want to know? Really..really want to know? Then pick up for a change! Pick up and listen! Listen to what I have to say. Don't try to respond. Just listen and cheer, as you always do. What about the irony, you ask? Oh, that has nothing to do with you. Nope, it has absolutely nothing to do with you. In fact, none of this does. It all has to do with me. Yep! ME. And I've brought myself half circle. Half? Why half? Because I haven't found the solution yet. I thought I did, but I lied. I don't know what to do next. Except of course, to type here to you. Why? Because well..you're the one who reads this. Don't you love how Karma works? Everything seems flipped now. You don't think so? Well, maybe because you're off living on the up and up! While I'm here. Down here. Typing these random things. Things that will make you second guess about me. And if you're not second guessing me, then boy are you crazy. Because I definitely am trying to figure out who I am. And who I was. And who I want to be. Where did I go? Was that all a dream? If it was, may I go back to sleep? Please? Help? I can't do this alone. I thought that's what I needed, but I suppose I'm wrong. again..I just need to hear those encouraging words. You say I can do it, but can i really? You say I'm one of the smartest people you know. Am I really? Then, why am I here? How did I get myself here? Easy. I didn't. I'm just following this course of life. I tell myself, perhaps I can chose my own path. One that is better, but if so, why haven't I done so? Why haven't I been able to? Oh, well. I'm off to give you a call. Perhaps you'll answer, perhaps not. It doesn't really matter at the moment. For I'm about to leave. Maybe, I'll find myself soon. Maybe, I'll figure this all out. Maybe, I can get back on track. Wow, that's a lot of maybes. Well, then MAYBE this will all work out, and I'll be back to me.
11:36pm - Well, today had its ups and downs, but overall it was a good day. =] Played mahjong with the cousins and chilled. I'm debating whether or not to delete the above, but I'll leave it for now. I don't feel like saying much else.
Picture for today: Mahjong =]
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