Day 60, March 31

5:44pm - Currently keeping myself busy, procrastinating. In a few minutes, I'm going to change into my Official TSA Uniform and get Jen to kind of do a photoshoot lol. (She needs the Creativity hours, I need the picture) Then, I'm off to wirt a resume and finish my application. Then, I shall shower, and eat. Then...do homework or sleep. (probably sleep) This morning was such a dramatic morning. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Almost as if I was hyperventilating maybe? I don't know. I do know that I have a solid C in Math, without all of the stuff I turned in today, which is apparently very good? (same thing in Bio) Also, the World Lit Paper is due Thursday and Group IV is due Friday and PMEs are due Tuesday and blahblahblah more stuff.
10:37pm - sljfsaldfjsaldfjskdvnsdzlsajfoszdnjsl;jhfwsodfjvhsl;jgfsO:f jsVo;fjha. that describes me perfectly right now. (*sorry keyboard lol) i don't have anything else to say tonight. i love you. good night.

Picture for today: Me in my uniform.

Day 59, March 30

I'm super super tired right now. Just got home from the Mets Game. No time for homework. Made $460 from the registers and I'm about to count the tips. Good night!
10:55pm - $136.17 in tips!

Picture for today: God Clouds! (Don't tell me you can't see a face in that pic!)

Day 58, March 29

Hmm..Another failed day if you ask me. Didn't feel so well this afternoon and I'm having doubts about tomorrow's game. I just hope no one else has to come late or can't go and that someone will magically show up to save the day xD. I was doing so well with not picking at my thumb...I failed today. I got stressed and did it without thinking. gah. This week is going to suck. I can't forsee anything amazingly good happening. Aside from maybe Prom. Time to sleep. No more worries for now.

Picture for today: Newly planted..plants?

Day 57, March 28

1:20pm - Currently working on math homework, making some good progress if you ask me =] I wish I had done this yesterday though so that today could be bio day, but it's okay. Sometime today, after math I'll be catching up on pictures and then working on bio. I found out that 3 kids would be coming by later...and they'll be coming every friday and saturday..=\ As if this house wasn't packed enough. Back to work for me! =P
11:22pm - I did about 5-6 hours of homework today. I completed Ch 4 Days 1-15. Tomorrow will be another long day of homework, but I'll get it done. I just went through all of the Peking Acrobats pics, and caught up with my project. Earth Hour was today. I took the opportunity to turn off everything and take a nap =].

Picture for today: The Peking Acrobats (last one I promise!)
Secret for today: I can't help but think that one day when I actually get hurt, no one will be there to help me.

Day 56, March 27

what a day. My dad got into a car accident today. it was just unfair. basically, the car behind him hit him and he ended up hitting the car in front of him. they didn't even hear the whole story, and they were ready to blame it on my dad. they were going to write him up, but then we were like...aren't you going to listen to his side? and then they listened, analyzed, scratched away the citation, cleaned up and left. just like that. there's more to the story, but i don't want to get into that right now. my dad's fine, so it's fine. we just don't have a car anymore, since the honda is being returned this month. i don't know what we're going to do. we can't afford this happening. aside from that, i was about to start homework, but i'll postpone that for another hour or so. i've decided that tonight shall be...math night! =] school was interesting though. it was chill, yet somewhat frustrating. had a pretty good...somewhat of a convo with alex, but it was a good important one nonetheless. and then there was another situation that i don't want to even get into haha. let's just say that it's whatever. oh, and. my neck is still stiff =[

Picture for today: My dad's car being towed.

Day 55, March 26

5:27pm - Just got out of the shower, getting ready to do some actual work. (Gotta start buckling down, even though it's a little late) Today was really iffy. A couple people just really annoyed me, and the one person that usually makes me feel better won't be there as much anymore soon. ='[ Actually, soon, both people won't be there. They'll still be in my life, just not...at school, where I want them to be, even if it doesn't seem like it much. Went to McD's for lunch...again..I'ma get fat haha. Well, I just hope everything works out. Off to do work!
10:25pm - fail!! I just got home, mi familia y yo fuimos a Siam Orchid. =] It was amazingly yummy and the restaurant looks so different now! it was uber cool. Uhm, as for my homework. ahem. yea. let's not talk about that lol. Aside from that, I like my 'secrets' and -- messages thank you very much.

Picture for today: Peking Acrobats

Secret for today: I'm going to miss you mucho!!! xP

Day 54, March 25

Today took forever to end, yet went by so fast. Didn't do much work, I'm just really tired. I stayed after school to make up a test..and I did...eh..not as good as usual. I left her a note on the bottom though ;D Then I had some Wendy's. When I got home, I was exhausted, so I took a nap. Went to TSA...talked to Mr. Norman. Only 5 people showed up to the Mandatory Official meeting. =\ Oh well, as long as everyone shows up to the Mets game on Monday, it'll be all good. After, went to McD's (I've had way too much junk food lately). Then home, to once again fall asleep.

Picture for today: Peking Acrobats.

Day 53, March 24

8:02pm - I'm still so behind, I don't know what to do. History - a few recent assignments; English - an unsalable grade, all of the PMEs; Math - Chapter 4; Chem - Group IV lab, misc work, and project; Bio - bunch of make up work. And there's nothing anyone can really help me with, except for maybe a question here and there, I need to just do the work. I'm currently working on my Chem Group IV lab. I don't think I'll have time for anything else and I hope I never ever get myself into this kind of situation again.
9:11pm - Oh, I just realized how using 'you' could take away the 'fun' of reading a blog, it kind of makes it less 'insider's peek'. But at the same time, it's not like I'm speaking in general to everyone...well I sort of am..but the 'you's are more directed towards an undisclosed amount of person(s). xD Anyways, the other day, I was watching the best of the 90's on VH1 and I picked a few of the artists and made a new station on Pandora. I love the songs! It's just kind of said though. I have the tendency to take the lyrics and apply to them to what I'm going through or thinking, and the last song to play that kind of affected me was Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. Currently playing is Wherever you will go by The Calling.
9:56pm - I feel bad for not posting pictures, and I wrote a bunch of 'secrets' last month. I was going to use them as back up pictures, but I think I'll include a few here and there.

Picture for today: Peking Acrobats

Secret for today: I think about you all of the time and sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice.

Day 52, March 23

--7:38am - I'm getting ready for school. Slowly but surely, I'll get there. I just hope I can survive the day.
7:47am - I'm waiting for my mom to finish getting ready so that she can take me to school. I don't know how I'm going to do this, but I will get back to where I need to be and hopefully soon. Sometimes, I feel like I have no support system. I feel like no one really cares. To me, someone saying something trying to make me feel better to show me that they care does shit. To me, the deeds done without saying a word, mean the most. Don't say it, do it. That's what I'm trying to do. I tried taking step 1 a long time ago. It didn't work so well. So let's say this is step 1 1/2 because I don't want to repeat step 1. I'm moving forwards not backwards...or so I think.
7:35pm - Hey. you there ;] Thanks for brightening up my day. Just being there, even if I didn't show it much, helped a lot. So yeah, thanks. =] Moving on, I guess today was kind of okay, minus the dramatics this morning. I just wish that everything would get better and work out. Goals for tonight are to finish my TSA State Officer application and Group IV lab. Oh, and I think you should go on AIM and talk to me. yes, you. you, who never reads this til days later lol.
9:57pm - Why must the time fly by so fast? Today, in the end, was another failed day. I just can't afford to hope the next day will be better. I just want to get this over with. Still need to finish my Group IV lab, State Officer Application, Facilities Site, and maybe set up a meeting with Sanabria to find out what I can do with that Group IV lab. G'nite.

Picture for today: Peking Acrobats

Day 51, March 22

Okay so not to gross you out or anything, but I'm currently typing this from the bathroom. I've been here for the past 3 hours, I think it is now. It sucks...majorly..I haven't had the chance to start on my group iv lab...which is due tomorrow morning. There's really nothing I can do about it right now.
Overall, aside from this current situation, the day has been pretty unique and great. I woke up, finished a lab...then ate these really tiny crabs and some egg drop soup. <-- maybe the reason for the stomach problem? Then my family and I went to the Sunrise Theatre to watch the Peking Acrobats. It was so cool! I seriously forgot I was even in Fort Pierce. It was amazing. I literally took over a thousand pictures. About at least half of them are blurry, but I'll have a pretty good handful of good ones when I'm done sorting. I had to shoot Manual focus for the first half of the show...because the autofocus light kept coming on when I used auto. During intermission, I got the autofocus without the light and it was so much easier and the pics came out slightly better. I could pretty much focus more on the show and just hold the camera taking random shots. lol. After, I went to Golden Coral. Before I even started eating, I started feeling kinda meh, like I had a feeling this would happen. Then, before I knew it, it did. Good thing it was close to the end, and I didn't have to ruin anyone's dinner. My dad drove me home...and here I am now. Oh, and I made a KA graph for my conductivity lab. It was just amazing lmao.

oh and I'm stealing this from Kyle because I think it's pretty epic. As soon as I read it, it became my new favorite quote.
"Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, but Today is a Gift.
That is why it is called the Present."

--edit: So I just read up on the penny drive that we had, and all of those pennies are being donated to the Children's Home Society...or something like that. Just one question. Why isn't the money going back towards education? That's an estimated $26,000 that we raised...for EDUCATION, but it's not coming back to education? Oh, and the 15tons of pennies, never made it to the steps. They're in an 'undisclosed' location being counted by Brinks lmao.

Picture for today: One of the little crabs I ate today.

Day 50, March 21

OMG its Day 50 already!!! =] So today was pretty great. I haven't started on homework yet, but it was still pretty great lol. Woke up at 11ish, took a shower, ate sushi for brunch, then went to the mall. =] I bought my dress today! Let's just say it was over budget lmao but my mommy really liked it so she bought it for me =] Ahh the irony of how things turn out. I wanted to do something special for today, but oh well. Maybe for Day 100 hah.

Picture for today: Phil while he was driving.

Day 49, March 20

6:48pm - I'm really wanting to start my homework, which is why I'm still awake..but I'm not working on it and I really want to go to sleep. So, I'm doomed in English, worried with Chem, surprisingly good in Bio, and fine with Spanish. Today was an okay day. I just feel slightly detached from everyone. Oh, and I've been trying to find the name of the flower that I took yesterday. I found out that it was poisonous, but it's used a lot like everywhere for parking lots and medians and highways. If burnt, it's toxic, an accidental bite of a leaf can send someone to the hospital, and touching it can cause skin irritation. joy...I have a hugeeee one in my front yard lol. Good thing I didn't touch it. xD there's your flower info for the day. =]
Oh, and I almost forgot. I spent a few hours with Kyle and Tyler at McDonalds after school. I forgot to hand in my packet for Bio though, oh well. But yea, so many people partyinggg! LMAO, going to the bathroom will never be the same.
11:06pm - Eh didn't get any work done today at home, but I'm just really tired. I'm surprised that I even stayed up this late. I'm going to sleep in just a tad tomorrow, then work on homework like crazy...then go prom dress searching...then more homework. I have no idea what I want to get, or if I'll even be able to get anything. I hope I do. I'm so last minute xD Any advice, suggestions, whatever, would help =]

Picture for today: Jenny (she didn't try to hide her face this time!)

Day 48, March 19

Overall, I would rate today maybe a 7 out of 10. This morning, I received a bit of news. It was such a relief! Let's just say that it was a bit of stress lifted off of my shoulders. I ace a history quiz, actually finished an assignment for english, finished day 4 in math lol., worked on a chem lab, did some bio stuff, caught up in spanish. My highlights were definitely history, biology, and spanish. So far, my grades are A B F B/A ? D A/B? ain't that great? My goal for the 9 weeks is A B D/C A A/B B/A A. so what is that? a 3.4? I guess that's not too bad. Just the sight of C/D is O.O! =\
After school, I spoke with my eng teacher for a little bit. Then went to the library to work on my Conductivity lab. When I got home, I helped my grandpa in the yard and took some pretty epic pics, if I do say so myself. I haven't done any homework since I got home...but I had a good day. Oh, I almost forgot to mention, MY FIRST BOKEH! ^^ =]

Picture for today: Pink flowers in my yard.

Day 47, March 18

2:51pm - Woke up with an uneasy feeling in my heart. A feeling like something wrong was going to happen today. In particular, a car crash. Then I had another tummy ache/dizziness episode. So I stayed home, yet again. I really dislike this feeling. I'm about to start on another lab. (A really late start again..) Then off to TSA at 5ish. Oh, and Sandhill Cranes walk too fast. There were 5 that walked passed my living room window, by the time I got outside they were across my lawn and down the street. If you know my house, that's pretty fast don't you think? I felt bad for one of them though. It was limping. =\
8:59pm - TSA was pretty productive I suppose. Just another thing to be added to my list is a game on March 30. I don't know how I'm going to get through all of this. But I will. I hope. Aside from that, I'm feeling kinda like a failure. Too much stuff to do. Too little time. I just have bad timing. Really bad timing. 1st hour - caught up. 2nd hour - a quiz and a test and notes. 3rd hour - entire world lit paper, all PMEs, 5 journals from the visit (which she probably won't even accept anymore), possibly another essay. 4th hour - all of chapter 4 except for 3 things, a quiz, and a test. 5th hour - IA lab, Group IV lab, other make up work?. 6th hour - meiosis presentation, bunch of notes, FCAT, bunch of other assignments. 7th hour - a quiz. Aren't I lucky?!?! I'm trying to get these done. I just never get anything accomplished anymore at home. I guess I'm not trying hard enough. Instead I'm here blogging. I just want to restart this school year. Really, I do. I want a *reset Junior year* button. I think I'm going to try to pull an all-nighter tonight. I'm just really determined and frustrated to get all of this stuff done. I WILL do chemistry tonight.
9:58pm - You keep saying that I can do this. You keep assuring me that I'll get it done like I always do, but I believe otherwise. I've really screwed up this time. I don't think that I can do this. I want to and I hope to but I don't think it's going to happen. Oh, and I lied. I'm not working tonight. There you have it, yet again, another day with nothing academically accomplished. Sigh. Maybe I'll wake up early in the morning. 3:30am sound good?

Picture for today: A few of the Cranes that were passing by.

Day 46, March 17

12:56pm - Just got out of the shower, currently eating a bowl of jook (congee) with 'century egg' and sesame oil ^^. I'm kinda behind schedule with what I wanted to do today, but I'll start soon and I'll be done with it today!!! =D I hope.
9:56pm - Well, today was a fail. I sat at the computer since 12ish and I've only gotten one lab done. That just sucks. In my mind, I feel like a failure. I'm just sd;ljfsadfj. Tomorrow is going to be a long day...

Picture for today: A diptych of a barren tree and a full tree.

Day 45, March 16

So was it just me or was the actual Science FCAT a lot easier than the sample test? I'm really exhausted but it was a pretty good day. Talked to a teacher today about the latest troubles, it was pretty good. Then went to McDonald's for....4 hours to do homework ;D Spent the first hour eating and relaxing and then the next three working on spanish packets. I'm now caught up in Spanish! My next goal is Chemistry and then Biology/English and Math. Well I'm off to spend the rest of the night working on Chemistry labs. Wish me luck!
9:39pm - Stalker? There was a car parked outside on my front lawn..with lights on and just sitting there. I totally hope it's not that one guy from long ago because that was just creepy. No se. Let's just hope whoever it is doesn't come back again and that it was some weird coincidence?

Picture for today: A heart shaped ring box from Phil so that I don't lose my ring again xP

Day 44, March 15

Woke up around 7:30ish and went to play bball and breakfast with my cousins before they go back to college. I swear that place is kinda getting worse. I wish it was back to the way it was. Maybe the new one is better. I'll have to try it out and see for myself. =] But, yea that place is just going down hill. It's not as fun and laid back anymore. Anyways, after, I finished my acid/base lab, then felt really exhausted. So I took a nap. When I woke up, I HAD to go to wpb for a party. It was okay...but definitely not worth the time I missed. I'm so worried that I won't be able to make the deadline for the nine weeks. I just want to pass. Maybe at least Bs?
I wish that time could freeze until I get caught up with EVERYTHING.

Picture for today: A picture of JJ playing with mahjong tiles from the other day.

Day 43, March 14

10:33am - Just woke up, about to fall back asleep. Didn't go to Habitat for Humanity because I figured I should stay home and rest like my daddy wanted me to and work on homework as well. I really hope that today will seriously be productive.
6:54pm - So far, the only thing I've accomplished is two History packets. =\ Then, I took a two hour break. xD Well, sort of...I've been staring at my three chemistry labs, and I don't know what to do with them. They're all Internal Assessments and so screwy. They're stupid and worthless. alsk;jfskaldjfhsad.
10:39pm - I just found out the chem lab notebooks are due this coming friday..and I'm still working on the labs. asldjalkfjsd again. Ooo and Phil brought me some Checkers =D and I had some dumplings and I'm still working on my chem labs.
12:11am - I just got home from Denny's =]. The seven of us decided to go for a late night dinner. It was kind of disappointing. I didn't get my t-bone and there wasn't anything special there anymore. The usual servers are gone, replaced by younger 'hip' people lmao. Any my favorite cook wasn't there tonight! We got some guy who overcooked hash browns and was probably really tired. I want my late night Denny's back!

Picture for today: Ocean view from the library last week.

Day 42, March 13

9:32am - Just woke up. Didn't go to school because I'm still feeling really meh. Hopefully going to do a good amount of work today.
1:56pm - Why is this happening to me now? Why? Help me please? I just wish this would all go away; I want a fresh clean start. I thought this was, but it turned out otherwise. It seems like things will only continue downwards. How do I fix this? Can I fix this? Will I fix this? Perhaps a nice hot shower shall help.
2:50pm - Oh, the irony. Do you see it? No? Are you sure? Do you need help to see it clearly? Oh well, I can't help you. I'm the only who has the answer, you say? Why, yes. That's true, but it isn't for me to say. But I want your help? Why, yes, yes I do. I do want your help. Then why won't I tell you? Well, that's easy. It's because I want you to figure it out for yourself. Well how then can you figure it out? Simply. Just simply. It's hard, you say? Then, it wasn't meant for you to know. I'm confusing? Why, yes, yes I am and so are you. Do you really want to know? Really..really want to know? Then pick up for a change! Pick up and listen! Listen to what I have to say. Don't try to respond. Just listen and cheer, as you always do. What about the irony, you ask? Oh, that has nothing to do with you. Nope, it has absolutely nothing to do with you. In fact, none of this does. It all has to do with me. Yep! ME. And I've brought myself half circle. Half? Why half? Because I haven't found the solution yet. I thought I did, but I lied. I don't know what to do next. Except of course, to type here to you. Why? Because well..you're the one who reads this. Don't you love how Karma works? Everything seems flipped now. You don't think so? Well, maybe because you're off living on the up and up! While I'm here. Down here. Typing these random things. Things that will make you second guess about me. And if you're not second guessing me, then boy are you crazy. Because I definitely am trying to figure out who I am. And who I was. And who I want to be. Where did I go? Was that all a dream? If it was, may I go back to sleep? Please? Help? I can't do this alone. I thought that's what I needed, but I suppose I'm wrong. again..I just need to hear those encouraging words. You say I can do it, but can i really? You say I'm one of the smartest people you know. Am I really? Then, why am I here? How did I get myself here? Easy. I didn't. I'm just following this course of life. I tell myself, perhaps I can chose my own path. One that is better, but if so, why haven't I done so? Why haven't I been able to? Oh, well. I'm off to give you a call. Perhaps you'll answer, perhaps not. It doesn't really matter at the moment. For I'm about to leave. Maybe, I'll find myself soon. Maybe, I'll figure this all out. Maybe, I can get back on track. Wow, that's a lot of maybes. Well, then MAYBE this will all work out, and I'll be back to me.
11:36pm - Well, today had its ups and downs, but overall it was a good day. =] Played mahjong with the cousins and chilled. I'm debating whether or not to delete the above, but I'll leave it for now. I don't feel like saying much else.

Picture for today: Mahjong =]

Day 41, March 12

10:22am - Didn't go to school today. Had a massive stomach ache last night to the point where I was really close to throwing up and fainting too. It hurt so bad..and I kept getting really hot then freezing cold. <-- Definitely not good. I'm feeling better now..but still feel really meh. Oh, and the person I want there 'the most'? Read previous posts. I don't mention it, but you may get some hints.
11:18am - I'm caught up on pictures! *yay!*
12:02pm - I got my blood results back. Everything is supposedly fine, except I need to get Chicken Pox shots again because apparently..I never got them? Even though my mommy said I did and her insurance sent a questionnaire because they think I got into an accident? Oh, and I'm O+.
3:41pm - I just realized..I have a lot to do for tomorrow...=\
7:08pm - Finally about to start homework...maybe?

Picture for today: My cousins, Michelle and Steven who are back for Spring Break. =]

Day 40, March 11

Wow, I'm just in a huge lazy roll aren't I? Well, this is going to be short since I just woke up and still need to do my History packets. Today went by pretty fast. We watched all three Shrek movies in the Auditorium. I put together the TSA schedule for my chapter and started working on math. Didn't get to far, but I was glad to get some things done. I'm still way far behind and taking naps like these really aren't helpful, aside from the good rest I get lol. I guess no picture for today...again...lo siento.

It feels as if the person I want to be there the most, isn't.

Picture for today: Frank eating cake.

Day 39, March 10

Hmm..where to start? Erm...Harbor Branch was super boring and easy. The water didn't even go passed my knees. Everything was just a breeze and we were done way early. I think, today was the most I spoke Chinese outside of home. Anyways, when Jen and I got on the bus, we really wanted to go out to eat..so we asked our cousin Michelle if she wanted to go eat. She just came back for her Spring Break so we figured it'd be a good way to catch up...It went from being just the three of us to being 11 people -.-. My parents wanted to come and decided to bring my siblings along...and Phil and Danny came..and my grandparents coincidentally showed up half way though. It got to the point where we were just like -.- we don't really want to be here anymore. Like, it just wasn't the way we were thinking it'd turn out. So yea =\ Then when I got home I was really tired from being out all day and really wanted to sleep. Long story short, Phil annoyed me and I slept on the floor. Then I somehow managed back on my bed and didn't wake up til 9:30. Got a good sleep though! =]
I promise I'll get caught up on my pictures soon. I have them, I've just been uber stressed and I'm trying to do my homework instead of sorting through hundreds of pictures...but I haven't done much homework so yea.. =\ Well I'll be in the auditorium for 5 hours tomorrow. I'll get something accomplished right?

I feel like there's only one person that can do anything to help me at the moment and it's YOU.

Picture for today: Budweiser Clydesdales.

Day 38, March 9

I'm just being lazy and haven't gone through my pics yet. They're there though..just not touched heh. Today was pretty okay. I'm quite tired at the moment though. Went to the fair afterschool to pick up my pics and i got $57! =] and that Blue Rosette was mine! =D Uhm not much exciting went on..We had a funny soda scenario during reading/lunch and..i found out there's a social networking site created just for the wealthy lmao. You have to have a net income of like $3million or something to be allowed to have an account. The site is affluence.org Erm..that's bout it for me. Tis time for me to go get ready for Harbor Branch tomorrow.

Picture for today: Going down Midway.

Day 37, March 8

Gahh today was another long and tiring day. Yesterday I was out of the door by 11 and gone til 9, Today I was out the door by 8ish and gone til 9. I spent today working a concession stand at Mets Stadium, then went to Golden Corral for a family dinner, then to my cousins' house for cake, and a bit of football thenn home to sleep! We only earned about $500 at the game...We normally get $1000. =\ And about half of the money was from tips haha We're a 'lively' bunch. Everything was just generally slow. There weren't many people or food..and I think we were all just generally in a slow state of mind. Golden Corral was slightly interesting. We had...about 25 people? and it was crazyy packed! I did enjoy quite a nice salad though. It was like perfecttt! A pile of lettuce, with mushrooms, eggs, bacon, tomatoes, and cucumber. with...Ranch! lol. But, yea I wish I could've gotten a pic lol. It was just so perfectly made withh a bit of everything with each bite =] At my cousins' house we had a pretty amazing cake by mi madre and then we (the kids) went out to throw the football around. I took pics =] but almost all of them were blurry. It was fun to blind people though ;] We all wished we could've stayed to hang out more, but we have school...except for my two cousins that are back for Spring Break lol. I think that about wraps it up for the day; g'nite!

Picture for today: My grandma blowing out her candle.

Day 36, March 7

Well, today was a very busy day. I took a few pics but I'm wayyy too tired to go through them right now. I'm starting to fall asleep so I'll go through them and post it when I get the chance. I spent the day afternoon at the Greek Festival collecting money. I was on a roll with it, and then Bassing wanting me and Jen to switch so that I could get all dusty too lmao. Oh, and I was called a Greek like 5 times...and a Greek Dancer one of those time. Don't ask, I don't even know. haha. Then, I went to the Fair with Jen and Phil. Didn't go on any rides because none of us wanted to..but we did get some food, walk around, and check out the photography. I got 2 first places, and 4 2nd places...and possibly a Blue Rosette! <--Idk if it's mine because it was taped to the peg board next to 3 frames..and I don't know which frame it goes to lol. But potentially $50-60 ^^. Oh, and there was this GIANT robot at the fair. Cool but at the same time creepy but still cool =] Erm..thats it for the night...that was pretty much my day.

Picture for today: On the way to the fair. =]

Day 35, March 6

So is it just me, or are things getting worse but better at the same time. I'm still pretty grouchy...and easily frustrated, and I still have a lot of homework but...eh..I'm kinda chill right now. Tonight was pretty good. Went to Tyler's house for his birthday party, we played..ermm this game, idk the name of it, but you gotta try to throw your balls closer to the one smaller ball...I won! =] Oh and me and Kyle made a huge comeback when we played teams haha. Then we played some 'baseball' thennn hung in Tyler's room then ate and played Clue =] I won at clue too! =P It was Miss Scarlet...in the idr what room...with the revolver. heh. Ahh I have no idea what I want to do tomorrow. I'm just kind of fed up with a lot of things. I just hope everything works out. There's still one thing that's kind of bothering me right now, but ehh it'll fix itself.

Picture for today: Kyle playing with buddy.

Day 34, March 5

Sometime during 5th hour - Has it really come to this? Really? Oh, the irony. In a wicked way, I supposed this is funny, but in reality, to me, it's quite...frustrating. Why has this occurred? Can someone tell me, please? ;;
Spent the rest of the day pissy and upset but then went to the library, which was relaxing as always. Brought the camera with me, and definitely took a lot of pictures =] The circular polarizer is so cool! As for homework, I worked on Spanish, but that's about it lol. I really need to start working on other subjects more. I really should. The nine weeks will end before I know it and right now timing is just so so crucial; I hope I can do it.

Picture for today: A seagull flying in the sky =]

Day 33, March 4

1:11pm - I find myself continuing to push people away. I don't know why I would do such a thing, but it's happening and I don't want it to. I'm sitting down here with a bowl of ramen and a not so cheery mood. I wish all of this would just go away. the homework, the stress, the pressure, --, just..everything. I feel like judgment day is coming to see whether or not I can continue with everything I have on my plate at the moment. I have the Extended Essay and Group IV things to deal with. Nexus, Beta Club, and NHS. [TSA is a whole other story] The IB Chemistry exam which I believe we all feel that we've failed it already. English Paper 2 due...the 16th. Science FCAT also the 16th. End of the nine weeks the 27th. $2500 to go to states by April 1st. State officer application also due the 1st. AND Cyberspace Pursuit website..also due the 1st. There's just pressure and stress everywhere! It has already been almost a month since I've been sick..and where am I now? Still doing makeup work. Just got done with a few make up tests. I'm just so behind on EVERYTHING. (my fault, I know) But what can I do to fix it? The thing bugging me the most is being afraid of pretty much failing the nine weeks and pushing my friends away while I'm at it. [Oh, and failing to me is like getting C's] It feels like I've already pushed one away, and beginning to another..and another that's currently going through the 'process'. There's maybe one that can make this all better and I really don't want do without that person because once that happens, I don't think I'll ever be okay. [Don't ask me who, but if you think it's you; don't fret. Just be you and be there when I need you and that's all I could ever ask for.] Why is this happening to me? Why me? Please, tell me why? Please, don't leave me.
9:40pm - Still feeling kind of alone but I'll get through this. I'm slightly more optimistic about going to states money wise but we'll see how it goes. I had interesting dreams last night that I failed to mention earlier. I think I'll keep them to myself. hehe. Aside from that, I'm just getting the constant feeling that I'm just meant to be on my own and I need to learn to cope with it. There's really nothing anyone can do for me at the moment, minus the one person I mentioned earlier. The person just seems to be trying to slip away. I don't know. Don't even worry about it. I just want someone to be here for me right now. I just don't see that happening. Oh well. I'll get my stuff done...eventually right? maybe? hopefully? Good night. Off to dream land, where everything tends to be a tad better.

Picture for today: Kyle looking into the water.

Day 32, March 3

8:08pm - I still can't believe how fast the time has passed. Has it really been 32 days already? Well, today was quite the productive one, disregarding me being grouchy at school. I'm definitely not ready for a quiz in history tomorrow and I haven't worked on my paper 2 for english much either. I am, however, finally getting into chapter 4 in math. Chemistry I haven't worked on. Biology, I'm getting into. Spanish, I'm caught up! (minus one packet) Went to McDonalds and the library today. --There was a news crew there! apparently, some girl called 911 three times about McNuggets last week haha. Then, I went to the library and worked on spanish and bio. I did pretty good if I do say so myself. ;] Oh, and it was amazingly pretty outside! There were lots of birds, I wish I had my camera! Oh well, I'll wait for friday =] Then, went to KFC with jen and allan and their parents. Now, I'm home thinking of what I'll use for today's pic.
9:24pm - I figured out my pic for today, as you can see =] Back to doing some more homeworking.

Picture for today: A picture of me taking a picture of me.

Day 31, March 2

Today wasn't so bad. I didn't take a test in History..and I don't know if I even have to anymore. I still have quite a bit of things to do for English and Math. Chem will get done when it gets done, same with Bio. AND!!! I took 4 tests in Spanish today! I got a 94, 95, 100, 100. =] As for my grades, I currently have an A, ?, F, F, ?, F, B. haha. yea...That'll be way different by the end of next week ;]
V and Kyle came over after school and we played a bit of 'baseball', then ate. =] Then, Kyle worked on math hw while I did misc. TSA things. We need about $2500 by April 1. Help please! =] Oh, and I can't wait for this weekend! Hopefully, by then I get a big chunk of make up work done, so that I can do all the things I want to do. Tyler's party Friday, Greek Fest and SLC Fair on Saturday, and Mets Game Fundraiser on Sunday. busy busy busy. And, Did I mention that a bunch of things are due Apr 1..just for TSA...I need my State Officer application, TSA website, and money due. oh, what joy.

Picture for today: Kyle thinking. (Credit to V)

Day 30, March 1

5:00pm - It's March!! Went for breakfast this morning. Then wal-mart. I bought a lens cleaner and some lens filters. Haven't really tested them out, but yea. And now it's already 5?! I'm just about to start on the rest of my hw. oi vey am I doomed. I'll probably cheat again today picture wise. haha. We'll see.
8:00pm - Blog wise, I'm calling it a night. After all this time, I've yet to really do any homework. I'm slightly disappointed in myself at the moment, but seriously, Where has the time gone?! I'm 'cheating' again today and using a pic from Friday. It's kind of fair though right? I took like 400 pics that day xP. Well this coming weekend is pretty much planned. I just hope to get all of this work done and that I don't screw up the nine weeks. Oh, and i forgot to mention it the other day but Allan got into UCF! *wooo!* hehe. and to think we thought he'd be going to IRSC. I'm unsure of where I want to go, but that's irrelevant for now.
asdlkjfsldkj I don't know where to start on the rest of my homework! I don't want to miss school again tomorrow! I have that meeting with that facilities guy and a test, but there's so much stuff to be done! GAH! <--frustration! Someone rescue me! (or if you could freeze time until I finish my homework, that'd be great to)

Picture for today: Danny jumping because he thought I wouldn't be able to capture it. =]