I threw it away. Just like that. My goal. My wish. Gone. How? Me. I just let it pass right by. Didn't even blink an eye. It's not like they wanted me to do it anyways. The thing I've been hoping for for years. Gone. Just like that. Happy? No. Relieved? No. Sad? Yes. Regretful? eh..yea that too. I really wish I could wake up any second now, having this year be all a dream. These words erased. This school year anew. How has it came to this? Why to me? The irony. As I go down, they go up. No one understands. No one really wants to understand. Do they? I wish everything was back to the way it used to be. This whole year has just been horrible. Sure, maybe a few things here and there were good, but overall it was just, blah. Where has the time gone? Where have my friends gone? Where has my life gone? That's just it, it's gone. Gone, gone, gone. Sucked into this world, with me laying here on the sidelines, hoping someone will notice and pull me along with them.
4:47pm - feeling alone and continually reminded of the hole I'm in. Why can't I do this? Where has my motivation gone?
7:03pm - feeling slightly better. feeling like not doing any of this today. pushing it off some more. perhaps until the weekend. i need you. i really do. thankyou.
8:35pm - I'm going to call it a night. I'm so happy for Phil and what he's doing. Can't wait for prom tomorrow. Hopefully it'll take my mind off of all of this. Then the daunting weekend shall come. Until then. g'nite!
Picture for today: Sky =]
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