April 19 -- part II

I'm so confused right now. I don't know what to do anymore. I didn't accomplish anything worth while during Spring Break. It was the perfect opportunity to get caught up and what did I do? nothing. Part of me thinks I should just drop out, but I know I can't. Where would I go? What would I do? The program fits me, I'm just not being me.

You say that you'll always be there for me and that I should call you whenever I needed you no matter the hour. You said you'd even find some way to find me if you needed to. You said I was perfect. Oh, and the weirdest thing happened...my fan light just turned on. On its own. Freakyyy! Anyways, you also say that everything will be okay, that I'll be fine. How do u know? And what if I decide to take you up on your offer? Will you really be there? From what I can tell, those are just words. Never once have you really put it into action. And it's disappointing. Especially when I really need you. I don't know what to think. I feel like I'm clingy and taking things for granted. I just really want you to be here for me. Especially right now. Things aren't going so well. And well, you cheer me up. You keep me sane. Or at least I think you do. Perhaps it is all just a mind game. A wicked wicked mind game. I don't know. Just don't leave me. And keep your promises. Because if you're gone. I might as well be gone. <-- wow that was a dramatic things to say haha. Don't take this too seriously. I'm just ranting.

--deleting later?--