Day 121, May 31

I'm done. I have to end it. I can't keep lying to myself. I can't do it anymore. Perhaps I'll talk to someone about it tomorrow, but as of right now, I'm quitting. I'm leaving. I'm going to take myself down a step then build it back up from there. Sometimes, it's just what has to be done. I think this is necessary for my life right now. I'm going to lower that bar and throw all of my energy to be on top. I have no other choice.
I can't believe it's the last day of May already. I remember it just like it was yesterday. Reminding myself to take a new picture for this month. Now that I think of it, I don't think I even took a picture this month. =\ I don't know what I'm going to do anymore. I don't know what I want anymore.
It's not like anyone cares? Well, no that'd be a lie. Many of you care. I know you do. but perhaps not in the way i need you. Sorry to make you feel insignificant if you do. But it's true. I hear all the time of people being happy, happy with their friends and all this junk. Where do I have this in my life? no where. I'm stuck here in my room, til the end of time. Psh even they have more of a life than me. Who woulda thought. Even after all the bull.. Karma sucks and has chosen this time to kick me in the butt.

Picture for today: Sunset.

Day 120, May 30

Didn't go to watch Up as planned. Phil came over to hang out for a lil bit in the morning then I went back to sleep. The day continued, I slept again. And now here I am. Oh the excitement!

Picture for today: Fluffy Clouds? lol

Day 119, May 29

Okay so last night was completely horrible. I didn't even finish my roll, it wasn't really that good. It wasn't BAD but it wasn't *yay* either. I had my share of thai tea though! So after I fell asleep (around 11ish) I was awoken at 130am to a dream where I was in pain...turns out...I was in pain. So I go to the bathroom. Sit. Then completely puked my dinner. I guess I bent down a little too low (trying to get everything in the trash) it went up my nose. EW. Called my mom. She cleaned up a little while I continued to blow my nose. It was disgusting. Completely cleared my system after sitting in the bathroom for another while. Finally went to sleep at around 4am? So what do you expect me to do at 5am when I'm supposed to wake up and go to school? I expected to stay home. But noooo I HAVE to go to school because I've already missed so many days and they will no longer accept my absent notes. Which makes me upset because that's just a stupid number. Like my health is way more important. And then they were saying well u can sleep all you want later. Yea I only slept for like 3hours but that wasn't the reason I wanted to stay home. I was awake. It was my health. I took a shower and arrived at school at 7 30. mmk moving on. The school day sucked. Annoyed, disappointed, upset. Poured on. Laptop wet. meh. It survived though. Anyways, I don't want to go into that. Uhm Went to Double Dragon when I got home. Then After that I watched TV and chilled. Then made a strawberry cream thing with Jenny that's currently in the fridge setting. Dessert for tomorrow ^^. That's all for tonight.
oh and yea I have a TON of homework to do considering next week is pretty much my final and last chance for any thing. I failed English for the semester. =\ My grades right now are A B(89! xD) F C B F A

Picture for today: The smushed strawberries.

Day 118, May 28

I am doing so horrible with this =[. Perhaps part of it is that I'm not on my laptop much anymore. Yet, I still can't get my work done. What the heck do I do all day? I really don't know. Anyways Phil took me home from school, then we went out to eat, After I spent 20mins putting my contacts in lol. We were going to go to Double Dragon but they closed early =[ so we went to Sonny's instead. yummmyumm. Then I chilled and watched TV. Now...they want to go to Siam Orchid, so double dindin for me xP. I'm not that hungry though so I think I'll just go for a thai tea ^^

Picture for today: Fishy thing.

Day 117, May 27

Unlike yesterday, today there were a few cool things. =] I got Student of the Year in Design Portfolio. =] ANDDD I got new glasses today! Oh, and contacts too haha. I'm wearing them right now. tis pretty cool. Once again, someone thought my mom was actually my friend or sister haha. and the doctor guy was kinda rude, like in a rush. Was like ok this or that? ok now open ur eye. *poke* ur done. and i'm like o.O? I didn't even realize I had contacts in until I walked into the office and I'm like woahh I can see and I'm holding my glasses in my hand. lol. Now to work on alll of the journals I never did.

Picture for today: A few more flowers.

Day 116, May 26

Today sucked. Well, it did in the beginning, but as the day went on, it got better. Joe is quite funny. He was the guy I least expected to cheer me up haha. My status on FB was something similar to "ldjflsdkjflsdjf x983240198342" and he texted me asking if I was okay and what nots. So I spent bits and pieces of Chem and Bio texting with him. =] Uhm, afterschool was the usual. Annoying kids on the bus, procrastinating at home. The End. =]

Picture for today: A few flowers.

Day 115, May 25

12:50pm - Woke up earlyish. Made me an egg sandwich thenn finished up working on my book for now. Now it's time for english. woohoooo.
8:42pm - I'm so horrible. I did like nothing. part of me cares, part of me doesn't, all of me didn't do much. lskdjflksdjfsdljfsd. good night.

Picture for today: My Mommy and Jenny.

Day 114, May 24

I spent the day working on a few things. Then slept for a few hours and was awoken by a call from Alex! =D Talked to him for a lil while. Twas good. Uhm, ate dinner then some tiramisu ice cream =] Then talked to Phil. We broke up...again. Tis w/e atm. Everything will be fine, hopefully. I just have so many things going on, that I'm just being w/e to pretty much everything. There's him, and him, and her, and him, and work. All the "him"'s are different people btw. lol. I think I'm just gonna go and do my thing. I'll figure things out. Oh, and another weird dream last night. I don't remember too much about it. I think nick was in it and i was at mikasa? no se. Oh and tomorrow. I'm thinking i spend at least an hour outside to take pics and just relax. sounds good to me. =]

Picture for today: Jenny reading in the car.

Day 113, May 23

9:05am - Had another weird dream last night. Let's see...It was a confusing day at "school". It was like LPA and DMMS mixed together lol. I spent the day trying to talk to the Guidance Counselor because I was all of a sudden on a reg sched and not IB sched...and I had like 5 electives lol. (All of which I hated) Anyways, then I was...battling giant robots?....in a grocery store?? Idk xD. I won though =] Then AJ and Alfred and Alex were there and we grabbed a bunch of food and were hanging around the WalMartesque store. That's all I remember lol. Plan for today is to finish up my book as much as I can, then history packets, then math, then english, then biology, then spanish. I won't get to it all today, but that's the order of how I want to do things for this weekend. Wish me luck!
11:02pm - Today was pretty full. Went to americana's for breakfast. Then to visit my mom at Publix, where I also saw Mr. Gray haha. Then brought Jenny to a birthday party and the rest of us went to watch Angels and Demons. It was pretty good. I like the DaVinci Code better. Then we all went to hang out at my house. Then went to KFC. Then more hanging out at my house. Then eventually they all left and I went to bed. Oh, and they being Phil and my cousins.

Picture for today: The Honda, if you haven't already seen.

Day 112, May 22

Meh, today was okay. It was one of my better school days I suppose. As soon as I got home, I went to the Memorial in Stuart to help out. Ended up standing around for like 4 hours, doing pretty much nothing. The museum in the back was cool though. The memorial kinda sucked. Not the memorial itself, that part is amazing. Everything else was kinda meh. Went home and my mommy and I made a philly cheese steak type thing. It was pretty yummy. =] Thennn I spent the rest of the night working on my book.

Picture for today: Sky.

Day 111, May 21

Hmm...school was the same old same old. Totally hoping planning to work work work this weekend. Came home and watched tv. blah blah blah. UPDATED PICS!! =D Going to rewatch the season finale of NCIS because it was just that good. Then sleep!

Okay so I lied. I thought it would be an early night, but I guess not. I didn't watch NCIS, and I'm not yet asleep. Some nights, we have second dinners andd tonight was one of them haha. My mom cooked some jook, so I definitely could not pass that up and my grandma just brought home some pineapple duck and some fish looking thing u'll see tomorrow haha. Ahh...there are the days I don't eat, and the days I eat a lot. Today was one of those days that I ate a lot. =P Reminds me I need to work out xD

Picture for today: When life was good.

Day 110, May 20

*woooo* first post from my phone! Anyways, had a florida guard meeting today. I'm being promoted to E6, which is a staff sargeant. Jen and I are getting our own squads. What went from picking up two people went to picking up 5 xD pretty much all of the cadets minus jen. Hung out with kyle and phil after that. Watched fringe and ate dindin. Now time for sleep. =)

Picture for today: He has big eyes for an asian xD

Day 109, May 19

Okay, another weird dream. This time it involved people I haven't talked to in a very long long time, and even then it was rare haha. Uhm, trapped in a bus, bathroom stalls, sean. That's all I'll say about that one haha. Uhm, paper 3 was much better than paper 2. I'm glad it ended on a better note, but I just did horrible overall. Oh well, it's what I deserved. After the test, Kyle, Tyler, Jen and I went to Americana's for breakfast. It was yummy. =] Got home before 12. Tyler fell asleep in my room and I fell asleep in my mom's room and we slept for a good three hours haha =D Nothing good was on TV today...well..more like there was a lot of channels changing haha. Just watched an episode of NCIS. The Season Finale! OMFG it was soooo good. xD Just about the highlight of my day...and then I realized...how deep of a hole I've dug myself. Now all I need to do is cover it up. It's like my feelings are everywhere and yet, I have no feeling at all. I'm letting this all pass by without a care. but that's not right. I should care. I should be worried. I should try even harder. And yet....I'm not. I'm just not. I don't know what it is. I don't know when I'll figure it out. But I hope it's soon, because I'm tired of this. And yes, I know I should be doing something about it, but why is it that I can't seem to no matter how much I want to? Do I not want it enough? Meh. I'm sorry this project has become more of a blog then for my pictures. I really wanted it to be for my pictures. I do have a few pics on my camera. I'll get to it eventually. See, see that? That's what I'm talking about. I'm not even doing this...w/e. Oh and Coast 101.3 seems to always play things that relate to how I'm feeling. It actually sucks. a lot.

Picture for today: Gotta get over that bridge.

Day 108, May 18

Had the weirdest dream last night. It involved 'agents', a bus blowing up, fire, protecting my brother, a gas station, doug "wtf is this?! *switches stations*" lmao. don't even ask. Uhm. Paper 1 went pretty well. Paper 2 sucked. I did absolutely horrible. It wasn't a situation where I answered it and thought I got it wrong and might have gotten it right. It was, I did not know, I didn't answer it. Meh. Breakfast was good though haha. Had me a mango blast =D Aside from that, uhmmm V stood out in the rain and wouldn't come in the house -.- andddd hes strongggg lol. Oh, and it's my aunt's bday today =]

Picture for today: Mi tia con mi familia.

Day 107, May 17

So that tad bit of extra confidence has gone down the drain. I didn't study today and I'm uber uber nervous. I think I have most of the topics. and I know the concepts maybe but I feel like I'm definitely not at all ready for tomorrow. Theres at least two topics that I'm just like o.O Aside from that...uhm. Went to Crazy Buffet for lunch..then came home and took a nap. I wasn't feeling so well. breathing kinda iffy. I don't know. Then woke up to eat and somewhat go over assessment statements again and to just relax. Planned out tomorrow, and now definitely ready for some good ol' sleep. Oh, and my dad got me a tripod today! its like 9" and can extend to 42" I'll take a pic of it soon haha. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention. I got back with Phil the other day. Long explanation, short: I know I said I wouldn't, but just chill. I'll be okay. I hope promise. =]

Picture for today: Reach!

Day 106, May 16

Went to Tyler's house to study. Scanned a bunch of things. Felt a little more confident with chem. Then played mahjong with my mom, jen, and michelle. Played a FULL game! haha. AND....I WON!!! haha. I like pwnd. rofl. That's like once in a blue moon. It was quite the feat.

Picture for today: Why yes, those are mahjong tiles ;D

Day 105, May 15

Woah okay, so where to start for today. Hmmmm. I really didn't want to go to school, but I went. I didn't even try not to go lol.. Erm. My body was still feeling funky. A little more than yesterday but it wasn't like flu or anything. (I don't see how I would've gotten it anyway, unless...it's swine flu from Deven) haha <-- Penguin! >annoying kid -.-< Anyways. After school, went to walmart and bought some stuff for tomorrow. *Confusion, confusion, upset, confusion* Went to see Star Trek! It was pretty intense, I must say. It was pretty great, =] went to Sonics after. Now home, thinking about taking a few pics. (I'll updated pics soon I promise!)

Picture for today: Rose from long long ago =]

Day 104, May 14

Meh. Today was just meh. Body feeling weird. I don't even know how to describe it. Kind of like flu symptoms but likeee way way way NOT as intense. Just feeling helpless. Uhm. Studying Saturday! andd watching the DaVinci Code right now. There's like 5 movies I want to watch xD. XMen, Star Trek, Dance Flick, Angels and Demons, UP, and I think theres others I'm not sure lol. G'night. =]

Picture for today: Shamu chillaxin'.

Day 103, May 13

haha I now have three gallons of ice cream xD! THREE tiramisu, Cappuccino Fudge Blitz, one strawberry, and a dulce de leche. ^^ yumm. English test was way intense today, but I definitely think I did well. Uhm, worked on a site for the library, which is quite unnecessary if you ask me. But if that's what they want...I definitely hope they're planning on adding many more things. I just realized, it reminded me of the Borders site. Oh, and I swear my mommy is crazy haha. Went to Publix TWICE to buy ice cream, and she was saying random things in the car on the way home from school. Oh, and the asian way of saying Lotto makes me LMAO!. Also, things with Phil seem hopeful. Staying single for now is doing us both some good. We'll see how things go ^^ Definitely nothing further until I get my work all settled.

Picture for today: Proves my mommy is crazy!

Day 102, May 12

6:41pm - School as usual. Bus more annoying than usual. That kid is so stupid and annoying. One of these days man, one of these days. He just needs to shut up because no one cares. Anyways, had more spinach dip when I came home! ^^ and my mommy bought ice cream! She couldn't find the tiramisu though =[ and haha to all the people I got hooked on it =D At least it's "light" ice cream right? After an hour or so of TV watching, I figured I should finally get around to doing my homework. Since I normally go by class period, I wanted to start with some English. I frantically searched for my other journal. With dust everywhere, I realized all of my text books and what not were under two boxes. How they ended up there I don't exactly know. but they've been there since I got back from states. Shows how much I've been doing homework huh? =P But yea, I finally found it and now I'm blogging =P Maybe I'll start...later... ;D Oh and did you hear about that brush fire in Martin County!? 1981 Acres!!
10:03pm - OMG! NCIS was awesome!!! Gah! I can't wait til next week's season finale. *tear* It's going to be the last episode of NCIS...they're going to do another spinoff...it's going to be about the secret ops of NCIS. seems promising. They just needed to swap out the characters and what not due to previous conflicts lol. Anyways, I'm liking the way this is ending. With something interesting. Ziva and Tony. Need I say more? haha.

Picture for today: Tyler again! =]

Day 101, May 11

Woahh that was weird to type. "Day 101" Anyways, hmm..oh yea. the AP Biology exam = fail! I'm so tempted to cancel the score but it's not like it'll be that big of a deal if I don't do so well. I know for sure I didn't ace it, but you never know...maybe I barely passed it =] haha. We'll see. Uhmmm hung out in Harriman's room after that. ate spinach dip ^^. Then my mommy picked me up from school...Then I watched TV and ate. Thennnn I..slept? And then Alex called! *wooo!* lol. Then Phil called! xD Then I went back to sleep!!! After I ate and watched some TV with my daddy though. Uhm, that's it?

Picture for today: Pretty flowers on the side of Alex's house. =]

Day 100, May 10

DAY 100!!! *wooo!* That's about all the excitement I have for today. Oh, and Happy Mother's Day. I was totally hoping for something epic today. It being Mother's Day and Day 100. But nothing epic. Sorry. Had a good dinner though. And made me some more spinach dip. Was going to eat ice cream, but I don't even feel like doing that. DOn't worry though. I'm fine. I promise, at least for now. I pretty much stayed in bed all day. Talked to Phil for a lil bit. (If you didn't already know, we broke up the other day) Uhm, I just talked to Alex for a lil bit. It felt good to get some things out of my system. I just hope that everything works out. I realized that..things just aren't going right right now. and it seems like it's all emotional stuff. The stuff that you can't buy. and it sucks. I've noticed something about myself though. I help those who ask for my help, and yet can't help myself. I'm glad that I'm able to help them and all, I just wish I could take my own advice. And it seems like this time around, I just don't care as much. Like I do, but I'm not really making that big of a deal about it. Aside from maybe on here and maybe a little when I talk to Alex. but aside from that I'm just kind of in hiding, per se. Just here. in the background, once again. School is not so well right now. There's supposed to be no more TSA for next year. There's no Florida Guard, until the adults straighten out. Alex and Kyle aren't at LPA. I don't know. My positive distractions are just gone now. Yea I still talk to them and hang out every so often but the thought that they're in a way just no there anymore really sucks. Especially with all of these other things going on. I just wish everything was back to the way it was. A junior year reset button would help soooo much right now. There's so many things that I would do differently. and all of those things would make such an impact to my life. I seriously probably wouldn't be in such a hole. I don't know.

Picture for today: At Tyler's house.

Day 99, May 9

OMG Can u believe tomorrow will be Day 100?!?! I can't believe it! Ok, I know I 'cheated' on a few days. but hey, that depends on your perspective hehe. Today was amazing. Kyle picked me up around 930ish. Then we were off to Alex's house. I brought some of my spinach dip and the ice cream, and other random things. We played a little baseball, jumped in the pool, and watched Man of the Year. All of which were quite good if you ask me. After, Tyler and I went to his house. V came shortly after. We chilled. Did a few school things. Took practice AP Bio tests. It was good and bad. Good because I recognized the stuff that was there...nothing was completely out of the blue. I just need to review the stuff. Ahh the spinach dip was yummm =]

Picture for today: Where he used to be.

Day 98, May 8

School was the usual. Phil wasn't feeling so well, I hope he feels better soon. Afterschool though, was quite fun =] Kyle and Jen came over, and my mommy took us to Publix. haha Best shopping trip everrrr. It's how we're going to be like when we get the college lmao. I bought ingredients for spinach dip and some other random things we felt like eating. When we got to my house we made the dip then went to meet up with my other cousins for basketball. Twas fun =]. Then came back to my house and prepared the other foods. Then finally some spinach dip!!! OMG it was yummmm. (should've taken a pic haha) Hmm...what else? Oh, and we got ice cream!! I got me some Dulce de Leche (<--one of my faves) and we got Tiramisu, to try it out. It was YUMMMM as well ;D Now, I'm going to go play poker with steve and allan online.

Picture for today: Root Beer. =]

Day 97, May 7

Not much today. Did I mention how much I love the new method of scanning?! and how excited I am for Saturday! =] Oh, and I created a Twitter. haha. I don't know why. twitter.com/kimmie2991 if u want to stalk follow me. lol. I'm so worried for Chemistry. I hope I do good. Lots of studying and working the next week or so. Saturday is my last chance to just CHILL and I'm quite happy that I'll be doing that at Alex's house with Alex and Kyle and perhaps a few others? Totally having ice cream, movie, pool, basketball, baseball? I don't know, whatever we feel like =D And, for not studying, I did pretty great on my spanish test today. It felt good to ACE that thing =]

Picture for today: Alyssa.

Day 96, May 6

School as usual. I realized something today. Why bring your work home? I understand homework, but I don't understand work 24/7. Because I definitely used my time in spanish to do spanish. Aside from that, a better place to work and think would be great. I talked to Phil for a lil while today. I realized recently how much I may take him for granted. No matter how much I can complain about and to him, I love him. He doesn't understand how I can stand him and I don't understand how he can stand me. It works right? lol. I got a pleasant surprise from Alex and Carlos this morning. =] It was a pretty great way to start my morning =]. I had a few annoyances today. but eh, they can be forgotten. A few 'life changing' changes were put into motion long ago, but it seems that a few bits and pieces are still left to be put together. So, hopefully soon, I'll be able to put those pieces together. and when I do, I'm fricken super gluing it all together! haha =D Oh, and I missed SAT registration. again. yay. stupid test.

Picture for today: Jenny blowing bubbles yesterday. <-- Oh geeze that just sounded super wrong. If you don't know what I'm talking about then let's leave it that way haha.

Oh, and Kudos to V for yesterday's pic. (forgot to mention that) and to Rachael for getting accepted into RISD and to Iris for finally getting some paint haha.

Day 95, May 5

School was meh. Didn't feel very well throughout the day. Afterschool studying helped though. Got me refocused. Caught up with NCIS =D I don't know what I'm going to do with my work. Hopefully I'll get it done. I can't wait for saturday! hopefully all will go well =] Oh and I took pictures of bubbles today! lol. perhaps u'll see them tomorrow.

Picture for today: Nick reading. =]

Day 94, May 4

Woke up this morning and got out of going to school. I swear I heard my mom say that I didn't have to go to school. lol. I had some pretty weird dreams last night. I'd rather not go through them but I hope I never have them again. I'm still kinda tired but oh well. I'm going to go through pics then start homework. Oh, and i bought spinach dip for tomorrow! *yay!*
I slept all day. what a surprise. idk what i'm going to do with myself. i can't continue this way. i'm going to school for sure tomorrow though =]

Picture for today: Cow from Pollo Tropical!

Day 93, May 3

We left at around 9ish this morning. My mom drove the wrong way for about a half hour, so we were about an hour late getting home haha. We dropped Chantel off then went to Red Lobster =] Then Kyle tried to leave some money in the trunk when we dropped him off but he failed. Because my mommy took the money and slipped it into Risk. Which upon reading this, he will go look for hahaha. When I finally got home, I slept for the rest of the day.

Picture for today: Phil and Mr.Norman.

Day 92, May 2

I got absolutely no sleep last night. Except for maybe...one hour at the most. I stayed up ALL night working on On Demand Video. Thanks Kyle for keeping me awake! =] Last night was hectic, not only did I have to deal with the video, I also had to deal with another situation. meh. Thanks Nick for keeping that one under control. Anyways, we were tired all day. Did some finalists competitions, went back to the hotel and then had the awards ceremony! We got third in spirit! Chantel Nick and I got 4th in Tech Bowl (we should've gotten first or second.) We were finalists in On Demand Video. Virak and Nick were finalists in Debate. Nick and Kyle were finalists in Construction Systems. I think that was it. We'll find out more details when they come out. Oh and Joe G is the new Alumni President! *woo!*

Picture for today: Kyle jumping into the pool =]

Day 91, May 1

Fell asleep in the guys' room last night. They didn't bother waking me up xD. I got the bed to myself though haha. Woke up around 7 30ish. Ate breakfast. Filmed a scene for On Demand Video. Kyle and Frank 'threw' me in the pool. You guys will get to see it later ^^. We hung in the pool for a few hours after that. Then showered and went to McD. Oh and the reproductive bulls haha. When we got to the hotel, we decided to go to Japanese HQ which is like Sanrio. I got a new wallet, then had a water massage! It felt pretty good, I almost fell asleep lol. Oh, and got a Mango Tango afterwards. PERFECT MIX! Rest of the day was spent just hanging around, sleeping, relaxing. Eventually, it was time for the SUPER ALIGON WORLD RELEASE PARTY!!! CPK after that and now working on On Demand Video. I haven't even started putting clips together yet. I'm still fricken converting the file. gahhhh.

Picture for today: TSA '09! =]